I think going back to the limiting belief series is a great idea, as well as my need to have a chat with my impatient side.

There is no question that my impatient side wants to see results. I, like many people, am not trying to lose a significant amount of weight. In fact, if I stay at this weight, I’d be great, especially if this non-binging path continues (it’s been almost 40 days which for me is HUGE). I do my best to give myself credit every day in a success journal for all the NSV’s because there are just so many. And that helps a lot.  I grapple with the same question, if part of me wants to lose 6 more pounds,  and I accept myself, why is it so important to me to lose 6 more pounds? And then is this relaxed intent? Saying I’m fine now, but I also want to lose? It’s a bit confusing. But it’s definitely a mental game…

I want to be the highest expression of myself. And I know very CLEARLY that this means a person who makes healthy choices that support innerand outer good feelings. The 6 pounds are somewhat superficial. They won’t make me a better person, parent, daughter, wife, etc. On the surface, I believe there is some metaphysical trophy I feel I will receive if I can achieve that weight. But really, like many people I know, I feel I’ve changed so much from the sneak eating binger who would make herself sick in secret and then terrorize herself and her loved ones due to shame and guilt. I’m so, so happy that me is gone.

It’s really helpful to read how people work through these issues as I feel we are grappling with similar stuff.

About the soul’s gift issue, I didn’t address it maybe because I feel like this is one area where I’m quite at peace. I’m a teacher, I teach new immigrants and in particular I have a human rights program with them, and I LOVE my job. I love what I do and feel so fulfilled by it, that it’s never a question for me. When I’m with my students, engaged in human rights education, I don’t notice time pass, I am so fully energized, it’s great. And I also love being a mom.  I think the eating issues come from the fact that as a teacher, married to a musician, we struggle financially and there just isn’t much down time. Food was my “pause” in all the stress. But now that I have been using other renewal strategies, I really have no urge for food when I really need a pause.

One day, I was more tired then normal and I was feeling weak and sick. I decided to go to the doctor because I thought something new was happening. Maybe my blood sugar levels were off. So I went in asking for a blood test for my blood sugar. That is when they suggested a pregnancy test. I was sure I couldn’t be pregnant because after so many years of trying I didn’t think I ever could get pregnant again and I was thankful for my one child I did have. But the test came out positive! I was so surprised and I did not believe them so they did a blood test to confirm it. Amazingly all of my prior symptoms went away! No more racing heart, no more shaky, jittery feeling…no more of any of the crap I was feeling. I was having normal pregnancy symptoms! And after the miscarriage I was back to the energetic.

Well, to jump forward I started to think that I was probably going through some crazy hormonal crap. Losing the weight must have put my hormones in shock or something. I don’t really know for sure because nobody tested that or even knew to test for that, but knowing my hormone imbalance history, I am pretty convinced I was going through symptoms similar to what women experience when they go through menopause and the weight loss pills most of them take after pregnancy.

Except for me, instead of losing my fertility, I was getting it back! I chart my cycles and have for years and I am more fertile now since losing the weight then I have ever been. I still chart and I still have a regular cycle now. I am glad I am back to feeling normal again but this is why I am scared to do any diet again. I am not sure what caused all of that, if it was the losing weight rapidly or taking the pregnancy hormone. But I do know it happened and I was not crazy!

I need to point out that after I did the diet I continued to eat really well. I went to mostly organic, eating raw and mostly vegetarian. I ate meat just not every day. And I preferred to eat fish or chicken. I ate that way until I got pregnant with my son and then I decided to add more protein to try to prevent that miscarriage. I was taking a whole food prenatal and I was eating healthier then I ever have. I continued to do that up until after he was born.

And then I had to adjust my eating to my environment because I was staying at a Ronald McDonald House where they fed us and I had no control of what food they made. Spaghetti was something they made often and so even though I had stopped eating pasta, I would eat it then because I was not able to focus on taking care of myself at that time. I was spending so many hours in the NICU with my son and juggling time with both of my kids. Even though I wasn’t eating as healthy as I was before I continued to lose weight because I was breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is a great weight loss program for me! I was able to eat pretty much anything, pizza, pasta, desserts and so on and still not gain any weight back. At first I was scared I would gain it back but then when I realized I wasn’t I kind of gave in. I still ate healthy foods, but I was also eating some of the unhealthy stuff as well. Not a ton, but still more then I was used to. And I was able to continue that until he was about a year old and then as my milk supply started to drop, the weight slowly started to come up. Even when I adjusted my eating and stopped eating some things I was eating, I was still gaining weight easily. So I am convinced my hormones control my weight loss/gain.

My son is 2 now and I have gone back to eating mostly raw and vegetarian. It has been a challenge though because where he was a micro preemie we have to work hard to help him gain weight and so my focus has been on high calorie foods for him, plus he is a picky eater so I am constantly trying to find foods he will eat! And naturally, he likes a lot of junk foods. I was able to eat these foods with him until I started to gain more weight. And so now I am avoiding them, but again it is still hard, especially if we go out to eat and I know he will eat the pasta so I order the pasta to share with him because I can’t order a salad. He does not eat vegetables unless I hide them in foods or cover them with something like ranch dressing. But even with that, right now I am trying to eat raw with every meal and to go back to what I was before I got pregnant. I am doing pretty good at what I eat, but I have noticed that my weight is not going down. Even when I have been eating nothing but raw fruits and vegetables all day.

Again, I know it is my hormones that control my weight loss and so I am thinking I need to do the diet again because it reset my hypothalamus. Will keep this updated!

A few days ago I received a message from one of my students:

“I’m on my fourth injection day. I was wondering did anyone else go through hunger pains and when do they go away if at all?

My hunger was just constant and gnawing, not overwhelming, but only went away right after I ate. I never had any strong cravings except that bread and butter and peanut butter sounded good. Today, I was glad to eat what I could, but was satisfied. It is day 13 for me.

I have been so hungry on this diet. I’ve had the hunger headaches, stomach growling, etc. I thought can I do this and then I tell myself yes you are going to do this. I did go to my clinic today and they told me that this usually goes away, but until it does to eat as much spinach and cucumbers as I want for snacks. B/C they said what is happening is the HCG hadn’t made it to my hypo. yet and my belly is use to alot of food and the spinach and cucumbers will fill that full feeling my stomach is use to. Also these two veggies has the lowest amt. of calories. I also have yeast in my mouth or thrush and that is where they think the headaches are coming from. ”

First, every one of us experiences different levels of hunger…from: I can’t eat all this food, to wow… I get really hungry now & then. I can tell you that for me if took about 6 days of 500cal before my hunger diminished. And even now after starting my 2nd round, I still have days when I’m hungrier. But absolutely nothing that won’t go away with tea or water! Can’t even stress enough how important that water is.

I believe that everyone should follow Simeon’s diet exactly. That is exactly what I said when I said, “First, you MUST not cheat.”

However, I do not believe, when one falls from glory, that they should be abused. There are too many that carry their torch to the point that the want to light up the offenders (or burn them at the stake)! I don’t think that is necessary or right. I know, from my own experience, that I must follow exactly Simeon’s protocol. Some say they do not have to, and I wish that was me, but it is not. I can gain from eating maybe 100 calories off the diet, so I couldn’t advocate for anything but strict adherence. Therefore, I always advocate for folks to follow it exactly.

But I do not advocate the criticizing of others who do not follow it so I say “they criticize anyone who doesn’t follow the diet exactly.” I don’t think beating someone up who already sees the rising scales is a reasonable choice. Therefore, I said, “And there are some that want to help, so they tell you that you need to follow the diet to lose correctly. I don’t adhere to the critical way of thinking.” What that means is that I don’t believe anyone needs criticism but rather generally needs help.

I guess I don’t see how I gave conflicting information. But I’d rather that you searched someone else’s posts and found fault with them instead of me. I might change my mind about some things as I go through the third round of hCG in a few weeks. I’d rather not be watchdogged.

However, that being said, I agree that people should read the Simeon’s protocol repeatedly. I learn something new all the time. IMHO, it just shows what a tremendous genius the man was–his mind was far greater than my own.

Last but not least, you MUST not cheat, and some people have upped their doses to get less hunger.

Today is my 1st intermittent fasting day I have been hungry (stomach actually growling) three hours after eating both lunch and supper.

I am also doing the RX HCg sublingual.I had the same problem with the hemopathic last round. I switched because I have read where the RX HCg you do not get hungry. I have had almost a gallon of liquids and most of that has been water.

Is this normal the first few days? Here is my menu for today…

Breakfast
Coffee

Lunch
3.5oz chicken breast weighed raw.
handful of strawberries sliced with sweetner
1 small tomato

Supper
3.5 oz raw shrimp cooked
1/2 cup spinach
1 melba toast

Snack
handful of strawberries sliced with sweetner
1 melba toast.

I plan on having the PH2 chili tonight for supper. I only eat a 1/2c of veggies as that is usually a normal serving.I did eat one cup of spinach last night but it was canned with vinegar. I could have eaten all of it. I don’t like raw spinach though. But I know it is better for you. As for dressing I do not like the vinegar stuff. I do like the Walden Farms rasberry though and have some of it. I may try lettuce today and see if that helps.

However this is what my husband said: “no one ever said you would not be hungry the first week no matter how you dose. Why are you eating such a small amount of veggies? you say you are hungry and you can go up to 500 cals so do it in veggies. especially if you pick things like cucumbers or celery that are 4 cals per oz.”

But I meant if 1/2 cup of veggies is a normal serving? I think you can have a LOT more veggies than that. As long as your total calories do not go over 500 after adding your starch, fruit, protein and then the veggies?

I personally think that is not a normal serving on this protocol. However I will try to eat more veggies and to weigh and calculate cal counts regularly to see how it goes. the main rules I think are not to exceed 500 cals and stick to the allowed foods if I remember from the coach.

And my step-sister also said “why so few vegetables? You measure your fruit and meat, then eat the rest of your calories with veggies. You should have enough calories for several cups of spinach, for example.

The first few days are an adjustment and you may experience some hunger, but it goes away. Eating soups for your meals instead of meat and veggies is much more filling. I live off of P2 chili and chicken soup the first week. The recipes are on LCF.

Also, it may help to eat your Melba and fruit with your meals instead of as snacks, as they will have less impact on your blood sugar when eaten with protein.”